There are a variety of battles that parents have to fight with their children on a daily basis. As parents become wiser, we choose our battles (hopefully) more wisely, making the best choices so that our parenting can be effective. It doesnt make sense to fight every single battle to its fullest and it certainly is near impossible to be the victor in every single fight that transpires between children and parents.
Ive found that mornings, before school, are the most difficult time to wage war with Children. I choose very carefully what I want done, what needs to be done, and battles that need to be won at 645 am. I want the kids clothed, I want their teeth brushed, I want breakfast eaten, lunches packed, backpacks readied and hair brushed. If all those things get done with minimum fuss, its a good morning. Inevitably someone (Son) wont brush his teeth or hell forget his socks, and someone else will forget to comb their hair and then I am prepared to fight the battles to keep the rickety car on all four wheels running to school on time.
If you arent the parent who deals with the morning routine of getting everyone ready 7 days a week, because yes, even Saturdays and Sundays requires me to hustle and get kids to either Korean school or church, you have no idea how fragile the ecosystem is at the hour. There are only so many conversations and interchanges that can happen before something falls apart and there is a tantrum and kids are late to school. It really takes only one or two things to tip the balance and turn a basic morning into a hellish one.
When Husband said to me in passing, "Im not really into the girls wearing black leggings all the time" I didnt really have any idea where the conversation would end up. Suddenly he took it upon himself to decree the Land where he ruled a "black leggings free-zone" where Daughters would not be permitted to wear leggings. To his credit, he had some thought behind this decree and it wasnt made blindly simply because he didnt agree with the fashion, but he WOULD NOT BE THERE TO ENFORCE IT.
Enforcing it became my job. As I stated earlier, the fragile balance in the morning is just that - fragile. There are certain things that shouldnt happen at 645 in the morning, and one of them is fighting about the choice of bottomwear. After Husbands decree, the balance of the morning was off. Instead of getting dressed, Daughters came and presented their case to me as to why they SHOULD be allowed to wear leggings to school. (Their points had merit, mind you.) I was left torn (again at 645 am), choosing whether to be swayed by convincing arguments from a 7 and 9 year old, or to stand unified with Husband over a rule I wasnt so sure I was behind in the first place, merely for reasons that I wanted to AVOID CERTAIN BATTLES. As I was contemplating how to navigate the decision, minutes ticked on the clock and the pressure to just get moving and the rest of the morning going pushed me to throw my hands up into the air and say, "Wear what you want!"
Husband came home and casually observed that yes, the girls were still wearing the leggings, and asked me, "Why are they wearing the leggings?"
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "You werent here to enforce it." His look of dismay and disbelief was enough to make me inwardly laugh. He stomped upstairs and proceeded to give another 30 minute lecture as to his reasoning WHY they shouldnt wear the legggings.
He then came downstairs and engaged ME in an interrogation.
"Why did you let them wear the leggings? They were fine yesterday when I told them they couldnt."
"They werent fine. I had to listen to their reasons as to why you were WRONG and why they should get to wear the leggings!"
"What do you mean?"
"They pretend to listen to YOU but they come to complain to me. Youre like some policy maker way up on the hill somewhere making rules and leaving it to someone else to enforce. Im the enforcer and I have to field all the complaints and I cant stand it."
We went back and forth for a while, up to the final point where I couldnt look at him any longer. I simply said, "If this continues, Im either going to break down in tears or throw something."
Girls wore black leggings again today. And I just throw my hands up in the air.
To recover from my angst and unbalanced morning, I made this curried chicken slaw. Something about cabbage and curry called to me and I thought Id put it together in this salad. It was crunchy, satisfying, and soothing to my jangled sense of self. The salad is balanced with a touch of sweet, spicy, savory, and balanced with the chicken against the veggies. Its easier to make than navigating the craziness of clothing for sure.
Curried Chicken Slaw
Serves 4 to 6
Ingredients
6 cups of your choice of cabbage - can mix red and green
2 carrots, peeled and julienne or grated
2 cups shredded rotisserie chicken
¾ cup cilantro with some stems, roughly chopped
¾ cup chopped scallions
½ cup sliced almonds
1/3 cup canola oil
1/4 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
2 tablespoons curry powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon black pepper
Method
In a large bowl toss together cabbage, carrots, chicken, cilantro, scallions and almonds.
In a smaller bowl or a jar with a lid, mix together oil, vinegar, mayonnaise, curry powder, salt, and black pepper.
When ready to serve, drizzle curry dressing all over vegetables, Toss until all is coated. Enjoy.
Printable recipe
